What are you thinking?” This shows you’re listening, suggests you care, and gets you out of deciding. Say: “I could definitely do A or B, but I’m not crazy about C. So when you say, “It’s up to you,” we feel abandoned. For women, it’s like window-shopping for life’s possibilities, and we want you to help us shop. Men think of decision-making as work without pay. They would, however, say, “It’s up to you.” And find themselves in a world of hurt they never saw coming. ![]() Most men wouldn’t dream of looking at their wife or girlfriend and saying, “You know what? I just don’t care.” You decide where to eat, where to go on vacation, where to send your child to preschool. When you come home shirtless from a bachelor party or forget our birthdays and stand there in the face of our rage and crushing disappointment, do you really believe that merely stating the powerful existence of your love is going to make everything okay? Because it’s not.ġ. “”ģ. “I love you.” (It’s okay at the end of the apology, just not at the beginning.)Īnd when you go to a bachelor party, take along an extra shirt. In real life, a woman hears “I love you” most often at that point in a fight when she desperately wants to get to the heart of the issue, and when you desperately want to stop this nonsense and watch Alias-which you don’t normally even watch. In movies, “I love you” is usually employed by men during I-love-you– appropriate situations-lovemaking, walks on the beach, airport reunions. Let’s deal with it together.” This way she knows you’re totally sympathetic. ![]() Say: “I’m just as upset about this as you are. Women may sometimes feel crazy and joke about it, but anything smacking of accusations of being crazy will be far from soothing. You’re denying that there’s a reason to be upset. So when you tell her to relax, you’re implying that your response-i.e., nothing-is correct. If the inciting situation has anything to do with you, she feels she has a responsibility to freak out extra to compensate for your maddening calm. Understand, a woman screaming and carrying on in anger or frustration or panic thinks that her response is 100 percent appropriate. And if “logical” meant the same thing as “stupidest idea ever,” you’d be correct. It might seem logical to you to tell a woman who’s freaking out to relax. Warning: Some of these absolute no-no words and phrases seem so incredibly harmless, you may think we’re kidding. ![]() Then you need to strike them from your vocabulary. You need to know the phrases that, once introduced to her volatile atmosphere, will result in explosion (or quiet contempt-no picnic either). Play icon The triangle icon that indicates to play
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